Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Sometimes it's so Difficult

Sometimes it's so difficult to feel normal. Some days are so hard. Last Cycle, my very first cycle on Progesterone Supplements, I prayed & hoped & allowed myself to dream about being pregnant. The whole Post Peak Phase was pure torture. I had so many weird symptoms & kept wondering if any of those were related to pregnancy. I really hoped that I would get a positive pregnancy test. But unfortunately, my dreams were shattered when I began getting negative tests from P+10. And yet I continued testing every single day.

I don't know if it was the Progesterone as I felt so angry, irritated & depressed the whole Post Peak Phase. I had P+7 Bloodwork done for Progesterone and I kept waiting for more than a week to hear from my NaPro doctor's office. I was an emotional wreck and had no control over myself. And then I started spotting from P+11. What the heck? Luckily, Progesterone never lengthened my Luteal Phase and my Cycle began by P+14 evening.

I kept contacting my doctor's office to get my P+7 results but didn't hear back from them. This added to my frustration. I know it's just a P+7 result but I needed to know what I had to do the next cycle. I wanted to know if the Progesterone Supplements had worked and if I could do Clomid/Femara the new cycle. When it was CD 2, I was so annoyed with my NaPro doctor's office. How could they take so long to tell me the result inspite of contacting them for so many days? I didn't know what to do and felt I was wasting my time with NaPro. By CD 3, I almost made up my mind to call the RE whom I had visited a few months ago and who had suggested Clomid, Ovidrel & Prometrium. Why should I waste my time with NaPro? I needed to do something. I know it was silly but I cried so much all those days not knowing what to do. I was so angry with God for not answering my prayers.

Atlast, on CD 4, my NaPro doctor called me and told that my P+7 Progesterone was 24 (last cycle it was 7). I breathed a sigh of relief. Atleast, the Progesterone had worked. I asked her about Clomid/Femara but she was in a hurry and said probably after 2 cycles. I tried mentioning my Long Cycles and that my Peak Day was P+24 but she didn't have much to say. Hmmm, I know NaPro has given me a diagnosis but I don't know if I am getting the best NaPro treatment.

I know life is not perfect and we don't get what we want but I don't want to have regrets that I didn't take care of my Fertility. Now that I am in my Pre-Peak Phase, I am much more reasonable and feel sorry for being angry with God. I pray that I become more patient and accept God's Plan. I pray that I learn to say Yes to the Plan of God like Our Blessed Virgin Mary.

I am offering up all my frustrations for my Prayer Buddy and for all whose who are waiting. It is so good to be able to pray for someone else rather than focusing on yourself.
And my Prayer Buddy, I would appreciate if you could pray for me that I get over my frustrations and that God guides me as to what I should do next.

10 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear you are having trouble. I am surprised that your dr waited so long to call you. I do napro and My dr will set up a cycle review right after p+7, so we can go over the test results and then discuss what to do next month. Did you have the lap surgery yet? I used to have really late peak day around day 21. Then I had my lap and cleaned out tons of endo that I did not know I had. After the surgery my peak day is now right around 15. Napro is great but maybe your Dr needs to work a little harder or you need to see a better one. You could also consult with any napro dr by phone. That is what I do bc mine is hours away.

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  2. I'm sorry, that is so frustrating. :( I know to lengthen my post-peak phase my doc prescribed HCG injections, and it seems to be working. Just a thought.

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  3. I would be frustrated too with not being called back. Good for you for calling several times- you are being an advocate for your care. I'll be praying that you find peace soon ;)

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  4. I had a similiar experience with doctors not calling back with test results when I thought they should. It is hard as we wait by the phone to hear the numbers and the phone never rings. You are doing the right thing in calling them, but still. Praying for you...

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  5. How incredibly frustrating! At our office, we try to get back to patients within a couple days at the most. If a new cycle has started we try for the same day. UGH!

    Have you been diagnosed with PCOS? That is one cause of longer cycles and it is a syndrone and not a disease so it can be different for each woman. I don't have long cycles but do have some of the PCOS symptoms and I really think that metformin helps the quality of my ovulations. Some woman can manage the symptoms with a lower carb diet and exercise but others need medication. But, progesterone and/or ovulations induction meds can help, too.
    Praying for you!

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  6. I too have had some bad experiences getting a call back from my doctor, but not as bad as you have had! Wow. You did the right thing by calling them ... the squeaky wheel gets the grease around here. :)
    I'm sorry you're having a bad experience with your NaPro doc. I'll keep you in my prayers for that.

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  7. I am sorry to hear things aren't going better for you. I think it takes a while for the progesterone to build up in your system. I have read blogs where people have gone through 4 drs until they found one to suit their needs. And sometimes another opinion or approach could be all it takes. I personally have never felt all that well on the meds I have been given. But probably better than off meds. Even when my levels were "great" according to my dr., I still had PMS symptoms. I think if you take the meds inconjunction with diet and exercise it works better. I took 6 cycles of progesterone to get pregnant with my son and not even the full amount prescribed. So hang in there!!!
    Be Not Afraid

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  8. It is so hard when you are waiting to hear the results of bloodwork and you find out after the fact (ie: period has already come or whatnot). Praying for you!

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  9. Hang in there friend. You are on the right track even though it doesn't feel like it. I remember getting very uneasy too. It's impossible not too. Just keep reminding yourself, "Be still and know that I am God." He has a wonderful plan for you. HUgs

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  10. I am so sorry you had such a difficult cycle and such a hard time getting your dr to call back (um, know that feeling!!!). The np we saw in PA said that for local patients, they get their blood results in a matter of hours, and if needed, they will call the patient that day. (For a long-distance patient like myself, I am being told that blood results will take 2 days).

    A commenter mentioned HCG... my body did not react well to HCG, however, it does work wonders for some women in increasing their PPP progesterone levels AND in some cases will cause ovulation to happen earlier in the pre-peak phase. May be something to look into if you haven't already tried that?

    Again, I am so sorry you had this experience.

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