Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Surrendering to God's Will

When you abandon yourself completely to God's Will, you can experience peace, lasting peace. And I am trying to give up myself completely to the Lord - to learn and accept that whatever God permits to happen in my life is ultimately good even though I may never comprehend it.

My 6th pregnancy was taken away from me in the blink of an eye. Two days after the positive test, I knew things were not looking good when the HPTs started getting lighter and lighter. From experience, I know how your HPTs are supposed to grow darker every 2-3 days with the rising HCG levels.

I really thought this time I would be getting to meet my miracle on this side of heaven. I wasn't worried about the light bleeding I had before the positive test. I trusted. I prayed. I hoped. I was at peace.

Still, it was no different. My HCG levels dropped and I started bleeding last Saturday exactly one week after the day I saw the word "Pregnant" on the digital HPT.

I am so thankful for my Catholic faith and the gift of sacraments which keep me going when all I want to do is shut myself up and hide from the world. I am thankful for all your prayers. They have sustained me. Never have I felt so much peace. I owe it to all your prayers. And just as the priest reminded in today's homily to pray for God's Will to be done, it was exactly what I needed to hear. I am thankful for the gift of life which grew in my womb for a few weeks. I was so unworthy for such a blessing.

I will trust in the Lord all the days of my life. God is good. May God's Will be done all the days of my life.
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18 comments:

  1. JellyBellyFebruary 28, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    What a beautiful witness you are!

    You and your angels in heaven continue to be in my prayers.

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  2. JoAnna WahlundFebruary 28, 2012 at 4:56 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Many prayers.

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  3. SimoneFebruary 28, 2012 at 4:59 PM

    I am sorry for your loss.

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  4. Patiently Waiting......February 28, 2012 at 5:03 PM

    You are an amazing witness! I am sorry I have not commented much but please know that you have been in my prayers. May God continue to provide you peace.

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  5. Molly M.February 28, 2012 at 5:13 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I have been praying for you and will continue to do so.

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  6. Perfect Power in WeaknessFebruary 28, 2012 at 5:55 PM

    Oh, dear. I'm so sad to read about this most recent loss. May that peace that had sustained you continue to flow over you.

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  7. JennyFebruary 28, 2012 at 7:21 PM

    You are in my prayers...

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  8. Isaiah 55:8-9February 28, 2012 at 7:49 PM

    I am so sorry to hear about this. You are in my prayers.

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  9. imusthaveprayedforpatienceFebruary 28, 2012 at 8:15 PM

    You are an amazing woman, an inspiration to me. I will be praying for you.

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  10. Catholic MuttFebruary 28, 2012 at 9:04 PM

    I'm so sorry! I have been praying for you and will keep praying for you!

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  11. RebeccaFebruary 28, 2012 at 9:47 PM

    I am in awe reading this. You are amazing. Many prayers coming your way.

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  12. Being RefinedFebruary 28, 2012 at 11:01 PM

    You are in my prayers!! I can only imagine how hard this is, but you are inspiring.

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  13. polkadotFebruary 28, 2012 at 11:40 PM

    I'm so sorry about this loss. Your post is so beautiful in spite of how heavy your heart must be. I'm praying for you, especially that this peace continues.

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  14. Hebrews 11:1February 29, 2012 at 10:33 AM

    So, so sorry for your loss. Praying hard for you!! Your strength is inspiring.

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  15. AniaMarch 1, 2012 at 1:18 AM

    I echo what others have said here, I am in admiration of your strength and unwaivering faith. I am so sorry this has happened again. Prayers for sure!

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  16. ameliaMarch 3, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    Your strength inspires me. I'm so sorry for your loss. Many prayers to you

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  17. Made For Another WorldMarch 4, 2012 at 7:11 PM

    You are truly inspiring- what a beautiful soul you are. Thank you for sharing your journey. It is a wonderful witness to God's grace. You are in my prayers.

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  18. All in His Perfect TimingMarch 4, 2012 at 7:16 PM

    I am so, so very sorry. I will keep you in my prayers. You are a strong woman to keep trust and faith in God as you do.

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