Friday, April 20, 2012

The Cross gets heavier

I was on HCG this cycle and I decided to test to satisfy my curiosity. Today is P+13 and there was no magical line on that cheapo HPT strip. The HCG is out of my system! And along with the HCG, my hopes have gone. I feel pathetic. I knew I would have high hopes on a new medication only to hit rock bottom. Why can't I get to see two dark lines?

My thoughts are wandering. One more month and it's our 4th wedding anniversary. And this month was the due date of our first baby lost to ectopic pregnancy. I am supposed to have a 3 year old with me! And here I am as good as where we started. I don't have children here on earth. I just wish I didn't have to think of Infertility every single day. Not a second goes by without thinking of IF. It is a part of who I am. I wish I could forget about IF and live happily with my husband. This is a heavy cross to bear and I wish I could handle it in a better way. I wish I could handle suffering with grace like the saints instead of feeling pathetic and lashing out on my husband.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

HCG Questions

I have a quick question about storing HCG after it is mixed.

I received 1 vial of powdered HCG and Bateriostatic water from Kubat. After mixing bacteriostatic water into the HCG vial, can I store that same vial in the fridge? Or, do I need to buy another sterile glass vial for transferring the mixed HCG?

Dr. Google is not helping me with the thousands of HCG diet sites that keep popping up!

I am praying that I can inject myself without worrying too much!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Introducing my Nephew...

Antonio Joseph
Born on March 31st...

Little one, you are an answer to so many prayers. We love you so much!!!
Loving God, we thank you for the gift of this sweet baby in our lives.
May God bless you and protect you. May you grow in God's love all the days of your life.