Monday, September 15, 2014

Postpartum Cycles

Warning: This post is all about postpartum cycles, TTC and hormones. Feel free to skip it.

After our little Joseph was born, I had postpartum bleeding for 2 weeks and then spotting until Week 6. I was so happy when the Lochia ended. It meant we could resume intimacy after well a really long, long time. We were told to avoid intercourse the first half of pregnancy because of all the risks and the bleeding I had. The second half of pregnancy meant I was tired and with a huge belly, intimacy was completely out of question.

After the Lochia ended, I was dry as a desert. Not fun at all but Coconut Oil helped with all the dryness. However, I had my first period at 9 weeks postpartum. Since I am breastfeeding, I thought it would be a while before my period returned! Wrong! The first period was heavy and crampy. Hello AF! I had mixed emotions at the return of AF. It was a reminder of my broken body and the agonizing years of TTC. It also was a reminder that I had miraculously conceived and carried a baby to term.

I thought since AF had returned, I would be ovulating and having 30-32 day cycles. Lol! Wrong! Enter Week 12 and I began spotting and had light bleeding for a Week. After that my body has been producing 10KLs for weeks at a time. Looks like there is a big competition going on between breastfeeding and ovulation. Not ideal but right now we are neither trying to achieve nor trying to avoid. The post peak phase will be short the first few postpartum cycles and the chances of a miscarriage are high. We know it will be a while before my cycles regulate and most likely, it will be difficult to conceive while breastfeeding.

This is where I am torn. I love this baby so much and I just wish that there would be a next time and that the next time, we wouldn't need any treatments to get pregnant and stay pregnant. However, I feel selfish for even thinking of another baby when the Lord has blessed us so amazingly and when there are so many waiting to be blessed with a baby. Seriously, I remember how awful I felt the first 2 weeks postpartum with lack of sleep and all the pain from the stitches. I thought I would never ever have any desire for another baby because it seemed all too difficult to handle. Thankfully, things calmed down after the first 4 weeks and I had a very happy baby. When I see him smiling and cooing, I have baby fever. I don't know if I am insane for even thinking of it. DH thinks there is no serious reason that we should avoid and he is open to as many children as God would bless us with. Once my cycles return to a pattern, I will most likely visit my NaPro doctor to talk about progesterone. I am praying and hoping that there would be a next time but again I feel so selfish.


  1. Yes, having a child is a gift BUT it is also a gift that you give to the world! I think that your openness is beautiful. It would only be selfish if you having another child meant that someone else won't get to have one. But that is just silly. I will be praying that you have another child.

  2. I agree w/ Mrs. Fitz, your openness is beautiful. I wish more of my post partum clients would be as open as you are. Infertility and miscarriage have a way of challenging our openness to life and often my post partum IF clients are most open because their perspective on God being the ultimate giver of human life is much different than those who have not gone through IF.

  3. I'm dreading the return of AF because of all the conflicting feelings and anxiety that I'm thinking will come with it! Actually, one of the things I'm loving about being postpartum is that we don't have to think about conceiving. We won't be trying to avoid, either, except maybe if I start ovulating before December (we're moving in July, possibly cross-country, and I don't think I could do that at 7-9 months pregnant, much less find a doctor so soon and someone to watch Maria...)