Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Another Ultrasound & Dissapointment

Yesterday, I went in to my NaPro doctor's office for my Day 13 Midcycle Ultrasound to check my follicles. I somehow knew that I had bad news in store. There were 2 measly follicles - 12mm on my left and 10 mm on my right. So looks like my body has stopped responding to Clomid after one cycle! After seeing a 23mm follicle last cycle, I had hopes that 50mg Clomid would continue to work this cycle.

I told her that I had a late Peak Day (Cd 17) on my last Clomid cycle and she was surprised because most people ovulate on Day 14. She was even more surprised that I had 4-5 days of Fertile CM the last cycle inspite of being on Clomid!

When she asked me to come in again on CD 17 or 18 for another ultrasound, I almost lost it. Seeing how skeptical I was, she told me that if I didn't see any Fertile CM over the next few days, I didn't have to come in for another ultrasound because it would indicate that my body wouldn't be ovulating. And then she would double the Clomid dosage.

I hate you Clomid for giving me such terrible headaches! I hate you for not making me ovulate! I feel like giving up. But then I need to find out something that will work for my body. I wish and pray that I would see some Fertile CM over the next few days and that I would ovulate even if it's a bit late. Better than having an anovulatory Cycle on Clomid!

Inspite of all this, I am not going to be disappointed & hopeless unlike the previous cycles because I know that it's not my will but the Will of my Father in Heaven. And I have realized I have zero control over all the things that happen in my life. I will continue praying for a child but I know that God knows what's best for us and he may not answer my prayers in the way I want. I know there will be days and nights filled with tears but I pray for strength to endure this suffering for as long as God wills. And I am offering up this small suffering for my Prayer Buddy and all Bloggers who continue to wait.

12 comments:

  1. I am so sorry you received disappointing news at your ultrasound. Such a heartbreaking journey. You are doing the right thing...trusting God's will but that doesn't mean you cannot be sad and disappointed. Offering up your suffering is such a hard thing to do....you are a good, good woman. You are in my prayers.

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  2. So sorry to hear that. How frustrating. I personally don't think clomid does anything. I did three cycles of it 2 years ago and nothing. I am now in my fourth cycle of it, and we'll see, but I doubt it. There has got to be something more effective than clomid.

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  3. In my experience... a follicle over 10mm is in the process of growing. Under 10mm wouldn't give much info, but I do think that you have at least one, possibly two follicles growing towards ovulation right now. My guess would be, if they (or it) grows at the "normal" rate, that you'd ovulate sometime around Saturday or Sunday.

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  4. It's so hard to not be in control, huh?! I hate it. I just want to 'will' my body to ovulate! Come on body, come on! My ovulation cheerleading hasn't done much in the past for me... but I will say some prayers those follies grow and you see some fertile CM!

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  5. I'm so sorry you had a difficult experience today. I admire your strength and commitment to follow God's will. I'll be praying for you!

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  6. Don't you love this blog world with all of it's expertise (i.e. TCIE)? I pray she's right and you just have a late bloomer. How beautiful that you are accepting God's will. Praying for you tonight!

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  7. So sorry! Could it be that you will just ovulate late? I never had a day 14 textbook ovulation. It was always more like CD 20 or 21. Maybe that's your case this cycle? Don't give up hope yet!

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  8. I am in the camp of thinking this might be a late ovulation. I can understand the extreme frustration that comes with the anticipation and build-up that goes into those follicle ultrasounds. On my 3rd cycle of clomid - I had a nice follicle - 22mm or so on my left ovary and I was crushed because I knew my left tube was blocked. It just seemed like a huge waste of time. I then went back a month later (because no, there was no miracle breakthrough of the blockage) and was hoping that the right would kick in and there was a nice follicle on the right this month. Well, they found NOTHING - nada, nothing even close to a 10 even, and I was devastated. I remember meeting up with one of my SILs afterward and just balling about how frustrated I was and what a letdown, etc.

    Well, I didn't have a 5th cycle of clomid because we actually did conceive on what I thought was that huge dud of a 4th cycle. Don't ask my how (I mean I know how), but I must have ovulated SUPER early and the reason they didn't see anything was that the follicle was already in the tube. So, I know this is different than your situation, but what I am saying is that the ultrasound is not the end all be all (at least I have come to that conclusion) and I am going with the theory that you just haven't ovulated yet and there is still HOPE!!!!

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  9. Hoping like everyone else that you just ovulated late.

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  10. I'm so, so sorry for this disappointing ultrasound. I'm surprised that your NaPro doc thinks with Clomid everyone ovulates on CD 14. It could be late ovulation - I've had that happen several times. I hope this is the case and you can just show your doc!
    You're in my prayers!!!

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  11. Praying that this is a late ovulation! Don't give up!!

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  12. I am so, so sorry. I have to say that I too am surprised your doctor expected you to ovulate on Day 14. I know folks who have ovulated late on Clomid, and I thought that was pretty common.

    Praying for you!

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