Friday, March 23, 2012

This month - March

Ever since my vacation, I have been out-of-touch with blogging, specially reading blogs & commenting. I didn't even sign up for Lenten Prayer Buddies as I wasn't dealing well with my emotions after 2 miscarriages but I have been praying for all of you in a special way. I am so overjoyed to see pregnancy announcements & beautiful pics of blogger babies. It gives me hope - a glimpse of what my future will be like, if God-willing, when one day I will have a successful pregnancy.

The last few weeks were spent researching about Dr. Kw.a.k K.i.m & Dr. H.i.l.g.ers. I got in touch with a few wonderful blogger ladies and gathered lots of information. I have been purging different forums reading mail after mail  I feel so overwhelmed with all the information. It kind of scares me knowing what all could be possibly wrong with my body.

Both these doctors are awesome in their own fields. Based on my history, I am thinking I have Immune Issues which are causing my pregnancy losses. Dr. Kw.a.k K.i.m is so good at reproductive immunology but unfortunately it is so so so expensive. Also, I will need PPVI to treat me if I have endo/pcos.  Both these doctors are out of Network but we have decided to take a bold step. I have filled up all the paper-work and have copies of my medical records. All I need to do is mail it but I don't know why something is making me hesitant. The fear of the unknown is grabbing me and holding me down. I am praying to God to give me signs.

My cycle after the last miscarriage has been messed up. I have had so many days of brown mucus & spotting both pre and post peak. In fact, I have very few days which have no red stamps. I hope I am not dealing with an infection after the miscarriage or maybe it's a sign that I have Endo. Anyway, I have an appt with my local NaPro dr in a few days. And I hope to get rid of this nasty brown spotting.

One year ago, we lost our sweet baby Gabriel Joseph. It was our first Clomid Cycle and we were so hopeful about this "miracle drug". After losing our dear Gabriel, we learned about CrMS & NaPro. We love you so much little one. Please pray for us that we will find our way to heaven.

And today, we get to see the awesome Pro-life movie "October Baby". I am so excited. We have been eagerly waiting to see this movie ever since it was released in Alabama in Oct of last year. The movie was inspired by the story of abortion survivor Gianna Jessen.


  1. I am excited to see that movie too!! You'll have to let us know what you think.

    I will pray for God to guide you in your decisions about which doctor to go with. If I can help you with any questions about PPVI/Dr. Hilgers, please let me know, I would be happy to share any info you need about my experiences.

  2. It is scary and daunting when you are standing at the foot of the mountain, not knowing what you are going to find. But, take it one day at a time, one problem at a time. I remember feeling the same way when I decided to try napro, but when I got the call from PPVI to schedule my lap, I cried tears of relief, knowing I could lay down the burden of trying to figure it out all on my own, and I could trust that this doctor would do everything that needed to be done and explore all possibilities. I will pray that you have courage, peace, and resolve as you move forward.

  3. Praying for you to find peace and courage with contacting doctors/sending off your medical file!

  4. I know that God will lead you to where you need to be!

    Continued prayers for you!

  5. Praying that you receive clarity in the next step of your journey. If you go with Kwak-Kim, let me know because I only live about an hour away!

  6. You have been through so much but yet remain a faithful and strong woman. I pray that your next steps in this journey are made clear. He is with you every step of the way.

  7. Praying for clarity and peace in your decision making - you have been through so much already, I hope for nothing more than some answers and healing for you.

  8. Prayers for you! I know either doctor will be able to provide such great info.
    I hope to see October Baby at some point. Hopefully it is a great movie! But it wasn't released anywhere near me. Bummer.