This is one question that has crossed my mind time and again. How do I do it? I love babies and play with my friends' babies whenever I can. I love their sweet sounds and kisses. How am I able to love babies around me when I have had so many pregnancy losses? How do I hold other babies when my heart breaks thinking of all my little ones who are not with me. One word.... not my merits but God's Grace!
Though Pregnancy Announcements bring me a sense of sadness, I have realized that bitterness hasn't overtaken my heart. Babies bring me joy. And I forget my sorrows momentarily when I see them smile. Although I dread birthday parties and other social gatherings, I look forward to every opportunity to hold babies and cuddle them.
God has strengthened me in a special way through each of my losses. I know each baby is a miracle from God and my heart has grown in love. I pray that God continues to give me all the graces I need to share in others joy. How I long to hold my sweet nephew. I have only seen his pictures and I looking forward to my next vacation in India with my nephew.
I also have some good news. Remember this post where I wrote about my sister and how my infertility was affecting her. God is so good. He has opened doors for her wedding. She is getting married in a few months. I am so happy for her. God has answered our prayers. Deo Gratias!
Though Pregnancy Announcements bring me a sense of sadness, I have realized that bitterness hasn't overtaken my heart. Babies bring me joy. And I forget my sorrows momentarily when I see them smile. Although I dread birthday parties and other social gatherings, I look forward to every opportunity to hold babies and cuddle them.
God has strengthened me in a special way through each of my losses. I know each baby is a miracle from God and my heart has grown in love. I pray that God continues to give me all the graces I need to share in others joy. How I long to hold my sweet nephew. I have only seen his pictures and I looking forward to my next vacation in India with my nephew.
I also have some good news. Remember this post where I wrote about my sister and how my infertility was affecting her. God is so good. He has opened doors for her wedding. She is getting married in a few months. I am so happy for her. God has answered our prayers. Deo Gratias!
:) I am so glad that God has given you this joy in the midst of heartache. You are such a special person! It's so hard to fight against that bitterness that threatens to take over, and I'm so glad you are able to find happiness in those difficult situations. Keep hoping! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this post. I've often wondered if there is something wrong with me because I feel that same sense of joy and peace. It is good to know that someone else has experienced the same. Your words confirm in my heart that it is a gift of His grace. There are moments when I struggle with a deep sadness - a sense of emptiness and the weight of this cross - but then I am reminded that I need to surrender this "empty box" to God. (There is a story behind what I mean by the "empty box." I think I'll blog about it soon.)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! Simply beautiful! What an amazing witness you are to God's amazing grace. I'm so happy to hear about your sister's upcoming wedding. I know that was a huge burden you were carrying around. Now that that burden is lifted, may you experience all the more peace in Him!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to pop in to say that you are still in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sorry for all that you are going through and glad for all the little graces that get you through it. May God lead you in discerning your next step.
ReplyDeleteWish I could hug ur neck on days like this. Those feelings your mentioned are soooo very true and honest. I know your pain. Its not far from my thoughts. Hang in there. You WILL succeed. God has a beautiful plan for you. In the meantime, I will be praying for your strength and patience. I always asked the Lord to "fill my empty womb with a child of God." Im praying this for you:)
ReplyDeleteI wish I could have your strength! I love playing with babies, but I find newborns just too hard to deal with. They're just too little (and I want to steal them!).
ReplyDeleteGod's grace is working through you! What a great example you are to us IF girls!
How beautiful!! Thank you for sharing your strength and beauty. So happy for your sister and your family. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteYou are inspirational!!! I could never be so loving to others' babies (as JB said ... you just want to steal them :-) LOL) as you are. It is TRULY by God's grace that He is with you on this journey. Continued prayers for you!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd such GOOD NEWS about your sister! :-)
You have such a beautiful heart! I have never, never been "good with children" and often feel awkward around children/babies. I always *wanted* to find joy in babies, but struggled. God has blessed you with a special grace. Praying for you, and I am so happy to hear your sister is getting married!
ReplyDeleteI agree wholeheartedly with Sarah - you have such a beautiful heart and are truly close to the Lord's most merciful heart! I am so happy for your sister! Congratulations!! St. Anthony, pray for us!
ReplyDeleteThank goodness His grace is sufficient! I've relied on it many times. Happy to hear good news for your sister.
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