Home feels Good & Emotions

It feels so good to be home after a long week in Omaha. It was freezing cold the last few days we stayed in Omaha and we were all bundled up. As soon as the flight reached Charlotte on Saturday, warm weather and beautiful fall colors greeted us.

We stayed at Ha.w.thorn.e Suites while in Omaha. Nice, comfy suites with a full kitchen and full breakfast. Really close to PPVI. The day after the surgery, I woke up feeling incredibly hungry. Scrambled eggs, hashbrown and sausages never felt so good! We shopped at Trader Joe's while in Omaha but I quickly got bored of their frozen meals.

My appetite has increased after the surgery and I feel I need to do something before the pounds begin to add on. Yes, it happened after my last surgery. I gained 10-15 lbs in a month. Now that I am back home, I feel guilty for having conveniently forgotten my Low-Carb Diet. The diet and Metformin along with moderate exercise helped me lose 20 lbs in the last 6 months. I avoided Sugar, Dairy & Coffee though I didn't completely eliminate it.

I was so hooked onto White Rice and had a difficult time switching to Brown Rice and Quinoa. Not to mention how heavy Indian Cuisine is when it comes to carbs. You probably have an idea if you have been to an Indian Buffet. You have White Rice, Basmathi Rice, Biryani, Pulav/Pilaf, Cumin Rice, Naan and what not. Growing up, white rice and/or wheat rotis were a must for lunch and dinner. I don't think my Mom & Dad can imagine what it is like not to have Rice & Curry for a meal ! :)

Now that I have to do the Anti-Inflammatory diet, I don't even know where to begin. I need some suggestions as to what can be eaten and what needs to be avoided.  Dr. P told me to stay away from Red Meat, Dairy, Coffee and Processed Foods. Are eggs ok? Is Pork red meat?

The recovery has been going well. The bloating has subsided though I don't think I can fit into my jeans. DH is the best gift God has given me so far. He has such unwavering faith no matter what. BTW, Dh found Leila's blog from another blog and he went onto read all the blogger faith stories. He has become a fan of Leila' Blog. I hope he doesn't find my blog! He knows about my blog but I don't want him to read all that I write here :)

On the spiritual front, I have been experiencing a void. Though we went for Mass most of the days, I couldn't focus and was feeling emotional. I feel so empty inside and I am struggling to trust our Lord. He has been so good and I know I need to be thankful for leading me to such good doctors. Had I been in India, I wouldn't have had the blessing of NaPro treatments.

Now that I have met Dr. KK and that the surgery is over, I feel my "To Do" List is Over. I know I should be feeling hopeful but the "What Ifs" are weighing down on my heart. I feel I have reached the end of a bridge, yet what lies ahead makes me even more anxious. Not that I would want to go back to the starting point. I know God has given me this cross for a reason. I would not have been the same person if not for IF. I would have been another Lukewarm Catholic. God was working on my soul through IF. And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I am praying for peace that I will be able to accept God's Will and that I can love him unconditionally whether I am blessed with a child or not.

Post Surgery & Recovery

Ladies, thank you for all your prayers!!! The surgery is history and I am so glad... Thanks be to God! We made the right decision with our trip to Omaha and seeking out treatment with PPVI. The recovery has been difficult with all the pain but I know I need to be patient.

The experience at Creighton St. Joseph's hospital was wonderful in every way. It was so different from the emergency laparoscopy I had for the ectopic. The doctors and staff were so so kind and helpful. Need I say more. I was completely at peace before the surgery and didn't feel anxious at all. We reached the hospital around 10 am. After being prepped for the surgery, DH came in to see me and we prayed for a while. One of the surgery nurses came and gave us a rosary which Dr. H had brought from Rome during his annual trip. Just before heading for surgery, the Priest came to our room, anointed me and prayed for us. I knew I was in the right place and in the best hands. Dr. P came and explained everything one last time. They gave me some medicine to relax and I said goodbye to DH and that's all I remember.

The next thing I remember was waking up in the recovery room and I was in pain. So they gave me some pain medication and I drifted back to sleep and woke a few hours later and DH was there in the room. I wanted to use the restroom immediately and one of the nurses helped me. I was surprised that I could walk to the restroom without much difficulty. It was such a relief to empty the bladder and the nurse was happy and said I had already done the most difficult part. I took a few sips of water and I felt nauseous. I went back to sleep and felt much better when I woke up again. I immediately asked DH about the surgery. He said Dr. P gave him the pics from the surgery and told him that I had lot of adhesions and tiny spots of endo. It took about 3 hours to clear up everything. The good news is that everything has been taken care of and I don't have to come back for any major surgery. Thank you Jesus !!! Thank you Mama Mary!!!

I felt ok to leave and woke up to get dressed. Immediately after getting dressed, I felt severely nauseous and they gave me more zofran. We left the hospital around 8pm. After reaching the hotel, I tried drinking soup but could barely take a few spoons. I immediately took my antibiotic and went to sleep. Had to wake up a few times to use the restroom.

The next morning I woke up feeling better but the shoulder pain kicked in and it hurt really bad. I couldn't lie down on the bed. It hurt so much with all the gas. Ibuprofen & icepacks helped. We had the post-lap review with Dr. P where she showed us the Lap video and discussed the findings.

• Lot of adhesions behind the uterus which could have been caused by the first lap for the ectopic. She managed to remove everything.
• Tiny spots of endo which were lasered out. The endo was minimal and couldn't be staged.
• Lot of inflammation both inside and outside the uterus - Known as Chronic Endometritis
• My cervical ectropion has been treated and that will take care of the excess mucus.

 And the good news:

• My ovaries looked completely normal and healthy with no signs of PCOS.  I was worried since Dr. KK felt one of my ovaries appeared poly-cystic on ultrasound.
• My remaining fallopian tube is completely normal with no blockages and the fimbriae look very healthy.
• I had a follicle on my left ovary but we don't have to stay for the ovulation series. It might take some time before I ovulate.

The plan is to abstain for 2 cycles so that I can be treated with antibiotics for all the inflammation. We are waiting for the culture results so that we know which antibiotics to begin. Dr. P believes that as long as I om on Progesterone, it is highly unlikely that I will have another ectopic since my fallopian tube is healthy. That was my worry all the time.As my uterine lining was all inflamed, that could have caused all the early miscarriages. I might need some help with Ovulation based on my Estrogen levels.

She feels that I am in the best hands with Dr. KK and told me that I could go on with her treatments for the immune issues. She doesn't see any reason why we can't go onto have a healthy pregnancy once the inflammation has been taken care of.

I am so so thankful that the surgery has given me some idea as to what is going on inside. Thank you Ladies for all your prayers. I have pain near the incisions but the shoulder pain is the worst. I am hoping that it will subside in a few days. We will be home on Saturday!

Surgery Day

Thought I would update you all before leaving for the hospital. The surgery is scheduled for 11:30 AM Central Time. I am up and awake and feeling at complete peace after a good night's sleep.

We reached Omaha on Saturday and I already like this city so much. So many beautiful Catholic Churches unlike the "Queen City". We attended mass at 3 different churches and all the Churches felt "Catholic". We couldn't attend the Tridentine Mass but hoping to do so sometime this week.

We made the trip to Omaha Zoo on Sunday. It was worth seeing and we spent the full day there. Lots of walking, pretty fall colors and it was a warm, sunny day. The beautiful thing I noticed at the zoo was that almost every family had 4 or 5 children which is something I have never seen in Charlotte.

Yesterday morning, we had the pre-op appt at St. Joseph's Hospital. After the appt, we decided to visit the Chapel and we were right on time for the 11am Mass. The Chapel is really small for such a big hospital which was a disappointment and there were only 5 or 6 of us for Mass.

In the afternoon, we had the appts at PPVI. The ultrasound was uneventful. Saw a cyst on the left ovary which could be endometrioma. Other than that things looked good. Then we met with the doctors. Most likely, I have endo because of the TEBB. Will know for sure in a few hours.

 Please keep me in your prayers. God Bless!

The upcoming trip to Omaha

We are flying to Omaha this Saturday and will be there for a week. The Lap is scheduled for Tuesday, Oct 23rd. Please spare me a few prayers. I have been keeping myself busy not trying to think too much about the BIG day. It feels more like a Vacation for both of us. I am hoping to do some sightseeing while in Omaha, maybe the zoo and a few churches.

I was hoping to get the u/s series done while in Omaha. Looks like my body is already under stress and isn't ovulating. I had a really weird cycle with continuous fertile CM from Day 9-26. I was tired of charting 10KLs and 10Cs for more than 2 weeks. I wasn't able to identify a Peak Day. I was getting so frustrated and without the slightest hint, AF arrived on Day 27. I had super light bleeding for 4 days. It's more like blood tinged mucus on some days. I don't know if I should consider this as a new cycle or some kind of weird mid cycle bleeding. I will get to know when I meet my doc in a few days.

Since, I never reached Post Peak, charting (I)s were out of question. It's funny how I had no problem abstaining this last cycle knowing that the surgery was all scheduled. Whereas last year, when I was learning CrMs and when our doctor asked us to avoid a few cycles, those were the most frustrating cycles and I felt like I was wasting my TTC months.

It felt so nice to take a break without worrying about covering fertile days. And it feels so good to take a break from the numerous medications even if it's only for a few weeks. I have the Lovenox shots waiting in my room and I dread the sight of the it. It gives me panic attacks but I am safe for the next month.

I also want to receive Annointing of the Sick while in Omaha. I could get it done here at our Parish but since I will be flying a few days before the surgery date, our parish priest told it would be better to receive the sacrament as close to the surgery as possible. Have any of you been anointed while in Omaha either at PPVI or the hospital? Or maybe I could visit some church in Omaha just before the surgery.

One of the joys of staying in NC is that every year, we get to enjoy the wonderful fall colors in the mountains. Every year, we have been visiting one of America's most scenic drives - Blue Ridge Parkway. The colors have begun to change in the mountains and will be Peak in the next few weeks. This year, we made an early trip to Blue Ridge Parkway since we would be in Omaha next week.

And here are some photos ...

Salvation

I love the Sermons on audiosancto.org. 
They reach to the depths of my soul.

"No man can find salvation except in the Catholic Church. Outside the Catholic Church one can have everything except salvation. One can have honour, one can have the sacraments, one can sing alleluia, one can answer amen, one can have faith in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost, and preach it too, but never can one find salvation except in the Catholic Church."

~ Saint Augustine, Doctor of the Church: Sermon to the People of Caesaria

"Pray! Pray a great deal and make sacrifices for sinners, for many souls go to Hell for not having someone to pray and make sacrifices for them."
~ Our Lady of Fatima's message

Are you ready to get down on your knees and do penance for your brothers and sisters? Are you ready to pray for all the lost souls? Are you ready to suffer and offer sacrifices?

God is calling me to suffer for my own family members and friends who are outside the Church. I need to get down on my knees and pray for them. Through my Infertility, God is calling me to suffer and I need to lovingly embrace this Cross. I cannot let this opportunity go by. It is the least I can do for our Lord. It is the least I can do for my family and friends.It is why I need to embrace my suffering and pray more and more.

A 35 minute video worth every minute..
 

Head over to Leila's blog and find out why it's time to come back to the Church.

God Bless You All!