St Gianna, Pray for Us

Today is such a special day because it's the Feast of one of my favorite saints.

On this special day - Feast of St. Gianna Beretta Molla, Patron of Mothers, Physicians and Unborn Children, we seek your prayerful intercession St. Gianna.

• Pray for all of us who long to hold a baby in our arms that we may one day be blessed to Motherhood. 
• We seek your prayers for all those ladies who have recently been blessed with pregnancies and for the safety of all the little ones growing in their wombs. 
• We seek your intercession for all those who have already been blessed to the great joy of motherhood. 
• Pray for our dear Moms who have given life to us and have taken care of our every needs.
• And we beg your prayers for all those who carry the Cross of Infertility that we may be strengthened in a special way on this heartwrenching journey.

May we follow your splendid example and always welcome children as a blessing. Help us to love and honor every human life. May we always surrender our lives to God's Holy Will.

Novena To Obtain Graces Through Saint Gianna Beretta Molla

God, our Father, You have granted to Your church the gift of Gianna Beretta Molla. In her youth she lovingly sought You and drew other young people to You, involving them, through apostolic witness and Catholic Action, in the care of the sick and aged, to help and comfort them.

We thank You for the gift of this young woman, so deeply committed to You. Through her example grant us the grace to consecrate our lives to Your service, for the joy of our brothers and sisters.

Glory be …

Jesus, Redeemer of mankind, You called Saint Gianna to exercise the medical profession as a mission for the comfort of bodies and souls. In her suffering fellow men and in the little ones, deprived of all support, she saw You.

We thank You for having revealed Yourself to this servant as “one who serves” and who soothes the sufferings of men. Treasuring her example may we become generous Christians at the service of our brothers and sisters, especially those with whom You deign to share Your Cross.

Glory be…

God, Sanctifying Spirit, who love the Church as Your Bride, You poured into the heart of Saint Gianna a share of Your Love so that she could radiate it in her family, and thus cooperate with You in the wonderful plan of creation, and give life to new children who could know and love You.

We thank You for this model wife and, through her encouraging witness, we beg You to grant to our families the serene and Christian presence of mothers committed to transform their homes into cenacles of faith and love, rich with generous activity and sanctifying service.

Glory be…

O God, Creator and lover of mankind, You were close to Saint Gianna when, affected by illness, she was in the painful dilemma of choosing between her own life and the life of the child whom she was carrying in herself, a gift long-awaited. Trusting You alone, and aware of Your Commandment to respect human life, Gianna found the courage to do her duty as a mother and to say “yes” to the new life of her baby, generously sacrificing her own. Through the intercession of Mary, Mother of Jesus, and after the example of Gianna, inspire all mothers to welcome with love the sparkle of new life. Grant us the grace we are praying for …………. and the joy to find an inspiration in Saint Gianna who, as a model spouse and mother, after the example of Christ, gave up her life for the life of others.

Hail Mary…

Prayer Buddy Reveal

Happy Easter !!!
I am so excited to be revealing this. I had the honor of praying for Making God Laugh this Lenten Season.

God works in ways we cannot comprehend and as each day unfolds, I am convinced of his amazing love.

The Prayer Buddy email from JBTC led me to her blog for the first time and I immediately knew that God was working in my life through her. I never would have imagined that God was in turn leading me to Creighton and NaPro through her.

Yes, we were truly blessed to have her as our CrMS Practitioner. I am still in awe how God led me to her blog and how she agreed to working long distance with us.

You will always be in our prayers. God Bless!

Grieving this Holy Week

This month has been hard in many ways. Grief has hit me at the most unexpected times.

My first baby which I lost to ectopic in August 2008 would have completed 2 years this April. Happy 2nd Birthday to our little one in heaven! We love you so much. Sometimes, I wonder how my life would have been with a 2 year old running around the house.

After 5 cycles of TTC, I had conceived last April only to find out that it is was a Chemical Pregnancy. I hate the term so much. And a friend who fell pregnant around the same time has a beautiful 4 month old baby. Every time I hold the baby, I feel joy & pain at the same time.

Last Easter, I prayed for a child whole-heartedly. We were just beginning our infertility journey. I truly believed that God would give us a child by this Easter. As another Easter approaches, my heart breaks to know that we are still childless.

On top of all this, my miscarriage cycle which began on March 22nd feels so long since I seem to have ovulated really late. I just wish I didn't have to wait so long for a new cycle to begin.

I have begun CrMS Charting this month. I know I should be thankful to God for leading me to Creighton but I feel sad for having wasted a year and half, hoping that I would be pregnant without any help. I dread the long wait which comes with CrMS and NaPro. I know I need to chart for 2 cycles before I get to see a NaPro Physician. And I don't know how many more months I need to wait before I can start a treatment protocol. I just wish somebody would treat me based on my 14 months of Sympto-Thermal Charting! At times, I feel I am back to square one.

I know that I need to be patient and trust in the Lord for his perfect timing. But everywhere I look, I see babies and happy families. I know I have a long road ahead and I fear that I will never reach the other end of the road.

Oh my dear Jesus, please please do not abandon me. I am so weak and I feel helpless struggling under the wieght of my cross. I just wish I had something to hope for this Easter. I am praying for all the Blogger Ladies, especially for my prayer buddy.

Wishing you all a Blessed Easter !!!

On the Path to NaPro

I am so thankful for all the love & support I received from this wonderful Blogger Community. And even more, I am grateful to God for showing me the path to NaPro.

Yes, tomorrow, I am finally going to start CrMS. The amazing thing is that a Blogger Lady is going to be my instructor. I stumbled across her blog and she willingly agreed to help me. So, I don't have to wait for long. Yipee!!!

DH was more than interested when I told him about CrMS and NaPro. We watched a few videos about Dr. Hilgers and he agreed that we should go forward with NaPro. One year ago, I knew absolutely nothing about CrMS and NaPro. The only thing I knew was the Sympto Thermal Method :)

This picture was taken one year ago at Virginia Beach. A few weeks later, I had my first Chemical Pregnancy. Sometimes, it feels surreal that I conceived thrice in one year. Probably, it's a good number given that I have one tube.

In the last few months, God has blessed me in ways I could not have imagined. All the Catholic IF blogs have been an eye-opener. I know that I am not alone on this journey and I truly hope that NaPro is the answer we have been looking for. Dear Jesus, help us to trust in you as we continue our journey. My dear Mother, please continue praying for us.

"You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?" Psalms 56:8

God has strengthened us through another Loss

Yes, God has strengthened us through another loss. I am so thankful for all your prayers. We have been strengthened in a special way and feel so much at peace.

The ultrasound on Monday revealed a thickened endometrium with no gestational sac. My ovaries looked normal and they didn't see any fluids, and so they ruled out an ectopic pregnancy. Praise be to God!

After the ultrasound, my doc confirmed our suspicions of another miscarriage due to the low levels of HCG. I am thankful to God for leading us to such a kind-hearted doctor. God bless her soul! She was full of compassion when she told us that I had miscarried. Perhaps it was her compassion which made me so emotional and I cried like a baby. I am so thankful for my DH who had come with me. He held my hands while I cried. I felt so embarrassed for crying in front of my doctor but sometimes..........

She told us that she didn't have answers and that we would need to see an Infertility Specialist to know why my body has been rejecting the fetus and not been able to sustain pregnancies. I love her because she was frank and didn't give us false hopes. I love her because she wasn't insensitive like my previous doctor who insisted that Chemical Pregnancies are very common and that we shouldn't worry. I love her because she didn't ask me to continue the miracle drug "Clomid". She wanted me to do a few blood tests for RPL and and she will be giving us the referral for an RE. Before she walked away, she said she will pray for us. How often can you hear that from your doctor? Even when I had the emergency surgery for my ectopic, neither the doctors nor the hospital staff mentioned anything about prayer.

Yesterday morning, I woke up to some dark brown bleeding. By afternoon, it had changed to Red bleeding accompanied with severe cramps. I have been offering up all my sufferings to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. My doctor had told me to expect the bleeding to start in 3-5 days but I am thankful that I didn't have to wait for more than a day.

Soon after our wedding, I told my DH that I wanted 4 children. :-) How silly of me but if only I knew what was in store for us. And now I have realized that we indeed have 4 little ones in heaven who are praying for us.

This Lent has become so much more meaningful through our sufferings. Our families and friends have been praying for us and God has definitely turned all those prayers into immense grace. We have grown closer to God through prayers and Scripture Reading. We are so much at peace and can feel God working in our lives. We were filled with despair when we had our previous losses but we have so much of hope after this loss. We are not questioning God as to why this has happened. We know that our future is secure in God's hands. We needn't worry as he has seen our minds and souls in depth.

Mother Mary, please continue interceding for us that we may never ever be separated from your beloved Son Jesus in the moments of trials and tribulations.