Yes, God has strengthened us through another loss. I am so thankful for all your prayers. We have been strengthened in a special way and feel so much at peace.
The ultrasound on Monday revealed a thickened endometrium with no gestational sac. My ovaries looked normal and they didn't see any fluids, and so they ruled out an ectopic pregnancy. Praise be to God!
After the ultrasound, my doc confirmed our suspicions of another miscarriage due to the low levels of HCG. I am thankful to God for leading us to such a kind-hearted doctor. God bless her soul! She was full of compassion when she told us that I had miscarried. Perhaps it was her compassion which made me so emotional and I cried like a baby. I am so thankful for my DH who had come with me. He held my hands while I cried. I felt so embarrassed for crying in front of my doctor but sometimes..........
She told us that she didn't have answers and that we would need to see an Infertility Specialist to know why my body has been rejecting the fetus and not been able to sustain pregnancies. I love her because she was frank and didn't give us false hopes. I love her because she wasn't insensitive like my previous doctor who insisted that Chemical Pregnancies are very common and that we shouldn't worry. I love her because she didn't ask me to continue the miracle drug "Clomid". She wanted me to do a few blood tests for RPL and and she will be giving us the referral for an RE. Before she walked away, she said she will pray for us. How often can you hear that from your doctor? Even when I had the emergency surgery for my ectopic, neither the doctors nor the hospital staff mentioned anything about prayer.
Yesterday morning, I woke up to some dark brown bleeding. By afternoon, it had changed to Red bleeding accompanied with severe cramps. I have been offering up all my sufferings to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. My doctor had told me to expect the bleeding to start in 3-5 days but I am thankful that I didn't have to wait for more than a day.
Soon after our wedding, I told my DH that I wanted 4 children. :-) How silly of me but if only I knew what was in store for us. And now I have realized that we indeed have 4 little ones in heaven who are praying for us.
This Lent has become so much more meaningful through our sufferings. Our families and friends have been praying for us and God has definitely turned all those prayers into immense grace. We have grown closer to God through prayers and Scripture Reading. We are so much at peace and can feel God working in our lives. We were filled with despair when we had our previous losses but we have so much of hope after this loss. We are not questioning God as to why this has happened. We know that our future is secure in God's hands. We needn't worry as he has seen our minds and souls in depth.
Mother Mary, please continue interceding for us that we may never ever be separated from your beloved Son Jesus in the moments of trials and tribulations.