Sometimes, it's so difficult to trust in the Lord when you have had repeated losses. And yet, you hope for a miracle because nothing is impossible for him.
After getting faint HPTs from 11 DPO to 15 DPO, I finally had my blood drawn yesterday. It was 16 DPO. I had so much of hope amidst all my fears. Today the nurse called me with the results.
HCG - 27.6
Progesterone - 13.4
I knew the HCG levels would be low but never did I imagine it to be this low... I started getting severe stomach cramps this afternoon. I am at a loss for words. My heart aches so much. I just wish the days would pass quickly. I need to go in for another blood draw tomorrow. I seem to have grown weary of crying.
I know that the Lord is merciful and he will answer our prayers someday. I have to trust in him because he has a bigger plan for us.
I am praying ardently for my Prayer Buddy and I know that the Lord will bring immense good out of our sufferings.
Father, thy will be done. Be with me, O lord, in my greatest heart ache. Give me the grace to embrace my cross and carry it with perfect patience.